oh no, not jesus! is a humorous tale of what happens when jesus returns to earth and gets arrested by the united states department of homeland security. as jesus tells stories during his imprisonment, some of the old gods and heavenly babysitters-isis, aries, buddha, saint peter, and the archangel gabriel-attempt to find and free him before god realizes he's missing. unsure of why jesus has returned five years before the prophesied time, lucifer also joins in the search. he eventually finds the son of god in the pittsburgh area, where jesus is being held in a top-secret prison that has replaced guantanamo bay. but will the prince of darkness or any of the other heavenly helpers be able to wrest jesus away from the government's grasp? for those of you who can stand a little blasphemy, oh no, not jesus! is a humorous tale. and who knows . it might even make you think. "it's great to see him get another go 'round." -pontius pilate "i laughed, i cried, it was better than cats ." -moses "those homeland security guys give me the willies." -satan